


Jersey Girls and Jamestown Boys

by FicFriction



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Romance Novel, Gen, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-09
Updated: 2012-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-29 06:08:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/316615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FicFriction/pseuds/FicFriction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is something that life doesn't hand you... It throws it at you and you can't drop it. [Warning: Drug use: Nothing heavy, I promise.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work that is currently in progress. I started it back in '10 when I became randomly inspired out of nowhere. I have to warn you, it will be a bit odd, but this fic is based off of actual science fact. I would like to say now, for the rest of the story, I do not know or own anything or anyone related to the Backstreet Boys. As I said, this work is entirely fictional and is no in any way, shape, or form real. Thank you very much for taking the time to read it, and I hope you enjoy it. I'm only going to post the first three chapters for now, to give you guys a good lead into it, and if I can get some kind of input on it, then I will keep it going.

November 08, 2010

I didn’t really know what to expect when I opened my front door and saw my ex-boyfriend standing on the other side of it. You would figure after a bad, brutal actually, break up, and almost nine years of not talking, I wouldn’t even be a blip on his memory radar. Obviously this wasn’t the case at all.

What surprised me more at first was the fact that he told me he didn’t know who else he could turn to. Taking a good look at the man I hadn’t seen in nine years, it was easy to notice the puffy, red eyes, and the unshed tears that could easily fall at any given moment. As soon as I opened the door wider, granting him entry into my home, he crashed into my arms, sobbing into my shoulder.

Now, Nick is over six feet tall, and I barely top five-seven, so if the situation hadn’t left me so confused I would have laughed at how we must have looked. Instead, I rubbed slow circles on his back, waiting patiently for the sobs to subside, and when they did I moved us to the couch and sat him down. When he was comfortable on the sofa, and no longer looked on the verge of tears, he opened up to me, and what he said to me turned my world upside down.

-Pepper


	2. The day it all began...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She never saw it coming...

Pepper gave a soft sigh of frustration as she surfed through the channels, that had nothing to offer, wanting nothing more than to find a decent show to unwind to after a hard night at work. She worked at a small, hole-in-the-wall, gas station in Trenton, New Jersey that almost no one went to. But the people that did come in made her hate her job a little more each day. It didn't help any that she felt like she was getting nowhere with her life.

Here she was, going on thirty, and all she had to show for it was the fact that she had her own house, a small home placed away from town, out in the small country area. She had a second job, a work from home bit, growing fruits and vegetables on her land, and a certain herb in her tool shed out back. She could easily support herself, but she desperately wanting something more, but it honestly didn't look like that would happen. Out of her and her three siblings, one sister and two brothers, none of them had anything major, but she was the only one that was stuck at the low end of the corporate ladder.

With a soft growl of annoyance she turned off the TV and let the remote drop unceremoniously onto the sofa cushion. She didn't know what she was expecting at seven in the morning, besides the obvious news and morning talk shows, but it was worth a shot... Kind of. As she got up from the couch, Pepper stretched her aching muscles, groaning as she came out of her stretch. Her peace and quiet didn't last long, though, when her doorbell rang throughout her home, making her look at her door with a cocked brow since no one she knew would be showing up at her home at seven in the morning.

Stepping out from around her couch, she headed to the door, pausing to peek through her curtains to see what car was in her driveway. A frown tugged at the corner of her mouth when the car didn't belong to anyone she knew, but she still continued to the door, unlocking everything but the chain, and opened the door to look out at a face she never expected to see.

Shutting the door, she unlocked the chain and opened the door again, looking at her ex-boyfriend, Nick Carter. They locked eyes, but neither made a move, or even opened their mouth to say anything as they regarded each other with different emotions; hers was wariness, his was uncertainty. Finally, she broke the silence.

"Nick...What are you doing here?" She questioned as she leaned against her door frame.

"I don't care how it sounds, but, as crazy as it does sound, I didn't know who else I could turn to," Nick answered, his voice breaking in between words and his sniffles. He paused to wipe his eyes of more tears and shook his head. "I need someone who I can talk to, someone who won't look at me like I'm crazy and then go behind my back to call the mental institution."

Pepper took in the red, puffy eyes and the unshed tears threatening to fall, and knew that no matter how bad their breakup had been, whatever it was he had gotten himself into had to be worse for him to show up at her home. She gave a heavy sigh of resignation and opened the door wider for him, shutting it behind him as soon as he walked inside her home. The minute she turned to face him, the feeling of a brick wall slamming into her dazed her for a moment, but the sobbing against her shoulder cleared her head.

At first she had the urge to laugh, because this guy that towered over her normally was slightly hunched over to bury his face in her shoulder, but it was the heartbreaking sobs that kept her from doing so. Despite their past, she couldn't turn him away in this condition. Her hand slowly made it's way to his back, where she rubbed slow circles as she chewed on her lip, trying to figure out what was going on with Nick. During the two years she had been with him, and the extra half a year she had known him before they started going out, she had never seen Nick cry this hard.

With the hand that wasn't rubbing his back, she gently played with his hair and murmured words of comfort, even though she really didn't know what she should say; she was still clueless as to why he was even here. She was thankful when she heard his crying slow a bit, but his arms still held her close so she knew he was nowhere near done, but being the stubbornly patient one she was, she would stay there until he was ready to calm down and explain what was happening.

When he finally did pull away from her, he had been miserably sniffling for almost five minutes, but she wouldn't make him move. It was this kind of stubborn behavior that got her the nickname of "Dr. Pepper" since she was always the more patient of her friends, the one anyone could come to for any reason. No matter what time, day or night, Pepper was there to comfort the ones close to her, even cases like Carter, who she didn't care for anymore. Their eyes met and he gave a small, sheepish small and wiped his eyes again.

"I'm sorry..."

Pepper shook her head. "It's alright, Nick, come on." She led the sad sight to the couch and sat him down, patting his shoulder softly before she went into her kitchen and started a kettle for some hot water. "So," she paused to clear her throat as she came out of the kitchen and leaned on the arm of her couch, opposite of him, and looked at the blue eyes that had caught her long ago, "sit tight while I get some tea going, and then maybe you can tell me what's going on."

Nick, who had watched her come from the kitchen, to stand where she was now, nodded in agreement. "Okay..."

"Can you just...answer one question for me, right now, not about whatever is going on?" She questioned, and when he gave a wary nod, she ran her fingers through her hair. "How did you know where I live? The last time we even spoke I was still living in Newark."

"I used four-one-one," he answered, blinking with a child-like innocence that melted some of her cold barrier. "I wouldn't have even come here, but I really needed someone I could trust."

Pepper furrowed her brows slightly. "Nick, after all these years, what would make you think you can trust me, given our past? Granted, you can, but I'm curious about your thinking pattern here."

The blonde bit his lip and looked down, sniffling as his features changed to a slightly pained expression. "Because I know how much you care for people, and I guess I was hoping that even though I hurt you, maybe you could look past it." He cleared his throat and wiped his tears away before he looked up at her, his eyes shimmering once more. "Did you want me to leave?"

Pepper shook her head. "You can stay, I was only curious Nick." She looked past him, to the kitchen when she heard her kettle whistling. "Hold that thought."

Nick watched her leave again and sighed, hating that he had to come here and bother her like this, but he didn't know how to tell the guys, his brothers, what he found out. He didn't even know how to tell his family, well, his brothers and sisters. His mom and dad could go to Hell as far as he was concerned, but Pepper had been the girl he could always talk to when they knew each other. He could talk to her about anything, even things the other Backstreet Boys didn't know to this day.

When she came back and placed a cup of her tea in his hands, he took a slow sip, closing his eyes as memories flooded back to him of times when he would get in bad moods and she made her tea, the same tea he was drinking, to make the troubles go away. Fight with fat ass Lou Pearlman? Drink some of Pepper's tea. Fight with his family, or one of the guys? Drink the tea. Tab rags saying something bad about him or AJ that got them yelled at by Lou? Drink the tea. He swallowed the few sips he had taken and opened his eyes, looking at the girl that looked at him with curious, but guarded eyes.

"Need anything added to it?" She questioned, ready to get up from her spot next to him to get him something if he needed it.

Nick shook his head. "No, it's as good and perfect as I remember it to be," he answered, offering her a small smile before he took a bigger sip, staring at the remaining liquid in the cup as he swallowed. "Thank you, for letting me come in, and for getting me the tea..."

Pepper nodded and took a sip of the cup she had made for herself after she had made his cup. She heard him clear his throat again, and turned her blue-green eyes to him. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah..." He looked down and waited until she had set her cup of tea on the end table by her side of the couch before he finally opened his mouth to explain what was going on. "Pepper...?"

"Yes, Nick?"

"Remember how I said this was going to possibly send me to the mental hospital?" He questioned, and when she nodded, he looked at her, capturing his eyes with his own. "Pepper, I'm pregnant..."


	3. Trying to sort things out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did he say...pregnant?

For a long time Pepper and Nick sat there, staring at each other, their eyes searching for answers in each other's eyes. Pepper wanted him to bust out laughing, admit it was a joke and carry on about something else that was bothering him and Nick just wanted her to say something, anything. When the silence became too much for him, he took a long sip of the tea and set the cup down, turning in his spot to face her better. "Pepper?"

Pepper blinked a couple of quick times before she shook her head, clearing the haze that had filled her head. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I...I said I'm... I'm pregnant," he answered.

"You mean you got someone pregnant." There was no way a man could be pregnant, it wasn't humanly possible. Nick was a male born a male, not a female to male transgender after surgery. He was very much male, she should know. When Nick slowly shook his head, she picked up her tea and took a much needed, calming sip and set the cup back down. "Nick, men can't have babies unless they knock up a women, and then it's the woman that's pregnant... How could you be pregnant?"

Nick frowned and looked at his hands. "I don't know. All I know is that I am. I thought I had a stomach flu, or something, but you know how AJ is, he saw it as a chance to keep teasing me. He brought me a bag of meds, something to ease the sickness, but the dick threw a pregnancy test in."

"And, naturally, you used it?" Pepper questioned with a hint of sarcasm as she lifted her brow.

Nick flushed a bright red and toyed with the hem of his shirt as he found it hard to look up at her. "I did it to shut him up and show him I wasn't... But the thing said I was."

"Must have been defective then, Nick, you just got upset over-"

"Six," he cut in softly, stopping her words in her throat.

"Six what?"

"After it said I was pregnant, I called up one of the security guys at the hotel and told him a recent ex called me and told me she was pregnant. I told them I didn't believe her so she was coming over to prove it to me, and I wanted five of the tests just to make sure... Pepper, they all came up positive. The original test and the five I sent Max to get. Six tests, all positive."

"Oh... Oh wow, Nick, um..." Pepper cleared her throat and finished off her tea, licking her lips of the last drops. "I honestly don't know what to say on this, one. I mean, if you had come to me, a female to male transgender, minus the bottom surgery, I would have known what to say. Hell, you wouldn't even be coming to me, you'd be running to the guys." She ran her fingers through her hair and when he produced a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, she snatched them away and shot him a look.

"What?" He questioned, confused. "I need something to calm down."

"And you think smoking tar and nicotine is healthy for a baby?" She questioned, shaking her head. "Nick, if you are somehow pregnant, then smoking a cigarette is the last thing you need to be doing."

"But I'm still wound up," he pouted before he paused and said nothing for a moment before he got up and bolted out the sliding glass doors that led outside that he could see from the couch.

Pepper frowned as she got up and followed after him, wincing when she heard the retching before she walked out and saw him leaning against the railing of her porch, puking on the ground below. She stood behind him and rubbed his back, wincing every time he retched again, but she stayed until he was done and was making soft whimpers from time to time. She sighed softly as he wiped his mouth and looked over his shoulder at her with apologetic, embarrassed eyes.

"Sorry about that," he said quietly as tears filled his eyes once more.

"Oh Nick, don't cry," she said as she rubbed his side. "Stay here in case you get sick again, I'm going to make you some more tea, and then we're going to take care of that nausea, okay?"

"Okay," he croaked as his voice broke, the strain of puking too much on his vocal chords.

Pepper left his side and went in, using the rest of the water from the kettle to make two more cups of tea. As she mixed in some cream and a little sugar, along with her secret ingredient, she stared out the window by the sink at the man that broke her heart and how much of a wreck he was as he cried into his hands. She felt so bad for Nick, but she didn't know what to do. If he went to a doctor and it was something else making him sick, the doctors could fix him. If it were something else though, who the Hell would miss out on the chance to turn this into a media circus.

She knew how Bob and Jane would be, and she couldn't put poor Nick through anything more than what he was going through. She walked outside and handed him his tea, taking a sip of her own as she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, knowing the action could help calm him down.

Nick sniffled as he used his free hand to wipe his eyes and took a long sip of the tea, using it to rinse his mouth before spitting it out and taking a sip he intended to ingest.

"Have you had sex with any men?" She questioned, trying to think of something that could lead to this.

"Pepper, I'm straight," he said, feeling like he had to remind her of said fact. "Even if I did, how could that get me pregnant?"

"You're not even supposed to be pregnant, I was just trying to offer up something," she said with a reigning sigh as she sat on her porch swing, looking out at the land behind her home, at the small area sectioned off for her fruits and vegetables. Some more of her crops would be coming in soon and that meant she could make a little more money. "Nick, we have to get you to someone."

Nick looked at her with wide eyes. "Who the Hell could I could to Pepper!?"

"Hey," she cut him off before he could go any further. "Lower your voice, Nick, I won't have you yelling at me for trying to help you. You yell loud enough, my neighbors will hear, is that what you want? Calm down and sit with me," she ordered softly.

Nick's features smoothed out some as he moved and sat next to her, drinking down more of the tea. "Sorry Pepper..."

"It's okay, just don't do it again... I know someone who might be able to help us," she said as she looked at him.

Nick looked at her, his eyebrows rising slightly from his surprise. "Us?"

"Nick, you came to me," Pepper replied, a small smile gracing her lips. "You came to me, I'm involved with this now, and there is no way I'm letting you go through this alone. So yes, us." The smile that lit up his face brought a bigger smile to his, as it had always done. She giggled when he finished his tea and set the cup on the ground before he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"Thank you so much Pepper, this means so much to me." Nick let go of her, his smile faltering slightly. "Wait... Who would know what to do about this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I'm going to post on here for the night, just to see what your reactions are. I promise, this is one of those stories that doesn't leave anything out, or any questions left unanswered as it goes on. Now, reviews are loved, mainly because they let me see what you guys are thinking of my stories. So please, leave comment =)


	4. Nerves and herbs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's take a trip to this mystery person and see what's going on with Nick, shall we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, no reviews yet, my guess is I just need to post more to get more interested. =)

Pepper adjusted the strap on her messenger bag as she sat next to Nick in the waiting room of the clinic that her friend, Chris, worked at. Poor Nick was glancing in every direction and his legs were both bouncing as he looked at all the posters of expecting women. When he felt a hand on his leg, he stopped bouncing both of them and looked down, and then to Pepper, who smiled warmly at him, making his heart skip a beat. "Sorry, nerves," he whispered.

Pepper shook her head with the smile still intact. "It's okay Nick, Chris is safe."

"Spring Thomas?"

Pepper patted Nick's leg when her name was called as she stood with him, leading him as she followed the nurse to an exam room. When her and Nick were alone, Pepper took Nick's hand into her own and rubbed the back of it with her other hand.

"I don't get it," he whispered, confusion lacing his tone. "I hurt you. I broke your heart, and here you are, helping me. I still can't get it..."

"Nick, you were forgiven when I stopped hurting," she answered with a shrug of her shoulders. "When I stopped hurting I realized we were both young, stupid, and your Mother had your head fucked." She squeezed his hand. "I don't hold a grudge over what happened."

Nick opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when the door opened and a man around their age walked in, shooting Pepper a worried look. "Tell me you're not actually pregnant, Peppy love!" He exclaimed after he had shut the door.

Pepper laughed as se stood up and hugged the man. "Nice to see you too, Chris," she smiled. "I need to talk to hon, it's pretty serious." She pulled away from the hug and looked at her confused friend. "I have a very delicate, very special case for you, but I need you to FULLY adhere to the doctor, patient confidentiality agreement. No matter what. I'm even willing to sway your decision."

Chris eyed her suspiciously with his light brown eyes. "What kind of sway are we talking, love?" He questioned, leaning against the patient's table.

"Free supplies for a month, with a starting payment of a pound up front," she answered, getting a curious look from Nick, and an excited look from Chris. "As I said, this is very special."

"I want to hear the case," he said, "then I'll tell you if we have a deal or not. I want to know what I'm getting myself into."

"I'm not pregnant, Chris, but he might be," Pepper explained as she motioned to Nick, who had started fidgeting again. "He says that six tests came up positive, and has been showing pregnancy symptoms. He's fully male, and straight, so we have no clue as to how it happened."

Chris stared at the two while he slowly processed the information he had been given, before he scratched the back of his head. "This isn't a joke?" He questioned as he looked at the man behind Pepper, trying to figure out where he knew him from. "If he is pregnant, he'll need a caregiver, then what?"

"The full pound payment up front, and every month, until the baby is born, if you'll be the caregiver, I'll give you a half pound. Does that sound fair to you?" When Chris nodded quickly, his eyes wide with excitement, Pepper reached into her messenger bag and produced the pound she had spoken of, secured in a gallon freezer bag. She handed it over to Chris and smiled at Nick, who could only stare in shock at the freezer bag full of marijuana. "Either come over or call when you're ready for your next payment," she said as she looked to Chris, who was practically drooling over the green substance.

He nodded and tucked the bag away in a cabinet, using a key from his key ring to lock it, making sure his weed was safe. "Alright, let's get your friend on the table," he said as he faced Pepper and Nick. "What is your name anyway?"

"His name is Andrew Hazel," Pepper answered.

"Nice to meet you, Andrew," Chris said as he shook Nick's hand. "Hop up on the table for me and lift your shirt to the bottom of your...um...huh. I guess in your situation, since you're lacking breasts, I'm going to have to say your breast plate."

Nick managed a weak smile as he got up on the bed and laid down, lifting up his shirt as instructed. He sent a pleading look to Pepper, who moved to the other side of the table and ran her fingers over the short, black buzz cut he was sporting as a disguise. He mouthed a thank you to her as Chris turned on the ultrasound machine.

"Since we have no idea as to how far along you MIGHT be, this might not show us anything," Chris explained as he spread some cold jelly-like substance on Nick's belly, chuckling softly when Nick jumped. "Sorry, I forgot to warn you it would be cold. Now, if this doesn't show us a fetus, or signs of a spot one could be, we might have to run some tests to find out what could be making you show signs of being pregnant."

Turning his attention to the monitor, Chris went quiet as he slowly moved the transducer over Nick's belly, watching the monitor closely. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, only since this was a male, and they had no idea how far along he might be, but he still looked for what he normally would if this were a female. Any spot where a fetus could be, or for a fetus itself.

Nick looked up at Pepper, who was also watching the monitor as well. When she felt his eyes on her, she looked down at him and gave him a comforting smile. He didn't know why, but it meant the world to him that she was there with him, and was willing to do so much to help him. Staring up into her blue-green eyes, he forgot where he was and what was going on. All he could focus on was her hands on his shoulder and on his short hair, soothing away his stress. A small click, followed by a strange sound brought Nick out of his stupor and made him look at the monitor, where a blurry form made his heart seem to stop. "Is... Is that?"

Chris let out a slow, heavy exhale as the three of them stared at the fetus and listened to the heartbeat. "It is..." He finally answered. "You ARE pregnant."

"Can you tell how far along he is, Chris?" Pepper questioned, surprising herself that she could make her vocal chords work.

Chris shook his head to clear himself from his daze. "Uh, yeah...Kind of." He cleared his throat. "He's somewhere between three to four months," he explained. "He isn't near twenty weeks yet, otherwise we wouldn't need the Doppler amplification to hear the fetus' heartbeat. With how visible the fetus is, the baby is at least three months so far..." He printed out the picture and turned off the machine, looking at Nick, who was staring down at the picture. He held the sonogram out to Nick, who took it and looked at it while Chris cleaned the gel off of his stomach.

"How am I going to have this baby?" Nick questioned, unable to take his eyes off of his child.

"Well, if you manage to carry the baby to full term, a cesarean would be the only way," Chris answered. "With you being a man, this pregnancy is going to be considered a high risk pregnancy. Your body might need help producing what it needs to help sustain your baby's life." He looked at Pepper, who was also looking at Nick's sonogram, her eyes staring with wonder. "Pepper, can I put the medication in your name? It will make all of this easier."

Pepper looked up at her friend. "Yes, of course," she answered with a nod before her eyes shifted to the picture in Nick's hands. "Thank you so much Chris, Andrew and I really do appreciate this."  



	5. A little past and a couple questions answered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out a little about Pepper's family, and we find out how she paid Chris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that I'm going to post a few chapters today, to give you more to read if you are reading this. I really would love some reviews so I can see if anyone is reading this, or what you think of it so far. =)

“Ho…ly shit…”

Nick couldn’t take his eyes off of the several tall pot plants growing in Pepper’s tool shed. In the corner were a couple hanging upside down, ready for harvesting. He finally turned his eyes, which were currently brown due to the contacts he wore for his disguise, to Pepper, who was leaning in the doorway, watching him. He turned his attention back to the plants that were hooked up to an irrigation system that ran throughout the shed.

Pepper watched her friend with careful, guarded eyes since she had never shown anyone outside of the other three Season Children her green house. She used the tool shed for cover and since she was close to all of her neighbors, she knew no one was likely to report her to the authorities anytime soon. When Nick turned and walked out of the shed, she walked out and shut the door, locking the padlock before she looked at him.

“When did you start dealing, let alone smoking that stuff?” Nick questioned as he took a sip of the tea she had made for them when they got back from the clinic.

Pepper let out a soft laugh and smiled at him. “Nick, I smoked when we met,” she answered, nodding towards the house before she began walking back to her porch with Nick in tow. “I just never really did it around you, so your friends wouldn’t try to keep me away from you, more than they did when we first met.”

“But what about when you came out with us on the road? I would have seen you smoking then,” he countered, walking inside with her.

“I only brought out a little, and I smoked when you guys were off doing interviews, or other JIVE related things,” she answered as she sat on the couch and tucked her legs under her body, looking at his wide eyes. “I always made sure to do it where you wouldn’t be so the smell wouldn’t get on you and risk your career.”

“But you didn’t tell me about it,” he pointed out, sitting sideways on her couch so he could face her and keep talking to her.

“I didn’t tell you because if somehow, Gods forbid, I had been caught with it you could have easily said you had no idea, and you wouldn’t have been lying.” She shrugged. “I was looking out for you in a way.”

“Were you dealing back then?” Nick questioned, his tone not as harsh, but still as curious as before.

Pepper shook her head. “No, I didn’t pick up growing and selling until a couple years ago, shortly after I got my home. “I knew it was profitable, and I wanted extra money to keep my home to make sure I wouldn’t have to move back in with any siblings.”

“Speaking of siblings, how are the other Season Children?” Nick questioned. “I haven’t heard you bring them up at all since I got here…”

“I didn’t see any need to since we were trying to figure out what was going on with yo,” she answered. “They’re doing good. They were actually here earlier this month.”

“I take it they don’t live around here?” Nick questioned, curious about the siblings he had seen a couple times when Backstreet was first starting out.

The other Season Children, as Pepper and her siblings had come to be called by friends, or people who knew them, were Pepper’s younger siblings, Summer Ian Thomas, Autumn Riley Thomas, and Winter Jack Thomas. Pepper’s full name was Spring Pepper Thomas. Their parents loved the seasons, so they decided to use something they love for the kids’ first names, and in case the kids didn’t like it, they gave them middle names they could go by. Autumn was the only one to do so all the time, since all the others ended up taking their middle names.

Her brother, Summer, was the second born of the four kids, two years Pepper’s junior, even though he had the mentality of an older brother. If any guy tried to mess with either of his sisters he was more than happy to kick an ass or two, despite his sweet, loving nature. He worked at an auto garage in Jersey City, satisfying his love for all cars. His work was so good that he had clients in, and out of, the shop. He even let some of them come to his home to help avoid the shop’s heavy fees; but only if he liked them. In that case he would just go to their home.

Her sister, Autumn, was the third born of the four, being four years Pepper’s junior, but she had always been older than her age. She had to grow up quick around two older siblings, and one not too far behind her. She was currently a manager at a retail store that was close to her home near Asbury Park. She had moved there, claiming it was the scene that called her.

Finally, the baby of the bunch at six years Pepper’s junior, was Winter. He may be the baby, but he’s never acted it, knowing that in Jersey it was best to be as tough as possible, especially with his taste for girl jeans, eyeliner, and the worst part; men. None of his family, not even Jack himself, was ashamed of who, or what, he was, but they all worried for him when he went out. He “manned” up, however, when he was at his job at the same garage as Ian, mainly at the manager’s request since he didn’t want any trouble for his business.

Though they all lived so far apart, with the exception of Jack and Ian, who lived together, all four siblings met up at Pepper’s home at the end of each month, staying until the first couple days of the next one. Their monthly visit had been over for almost a week when Nick had shown up on her doorstep, and Pepper was a bit glad for that fact. She knew her brothers would still love to kick the Carter ass, simply because of how hurt she had been.

Pepper shook her head and grabbed her tea from the table, where she had left it before she had gone outside with Nick to show him where she got the weed she had given to Chris. “Autumn lives near Asbury Park, but Ian and Jack live in Jersey City.”

“And they came all the way out here?”

“We try to keep in contact as much as possible,” Pepper shrugged. “It’s a family thing of ours since we’re all so close.”

“I wish I could do that with my family,” Nick replied, frowning a little. “What in the Hell am I going to tell them?” The thought hadn’t occurred to him at all, he had been too busy trying to figure out if he was pregnant, and if he was how had it happened. If his mother found out, this could cause a big problem for him. And how was he supposed to tell the guys? What was this going to do to their careers? “Oh God…”

Pepper saw the panic written on Nick’s face and shook her head. “Okay, that’s it, we’re de-stressing you,” she said as she got up, leaving Nick to stare at her with confused eyes as she disappeared into the kitchen.


	6. Another look into Pepper's world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see a little bit more of the relation between Pepper and Nick.

November 11, 2010

So, Nick is pregnant…Never in my life did I ever think I would be staring at an ultrasound monitor, watching a fetus move in Nick’s abdomen. Then again, any male for that matter. Until he figures out what he’s going to tell the other Backstreet Boys he’s been staying with me so no one will recognize him. Anytime he has to go out with me he puts in the brown contacts I’m letting him borrow, incase the hair cut and dye job don’t do the trick.

I’m worried about him, and how this is going to affect his life. He doesn’t have a girlfriend that can pretend they had a kid together, if he can manage to stay out of the spotlight until then, so how will he explain the baby coming from nowhere?

I got him to smoke a little bit of my weed and thankfully it did the trick in calming him down, but it took so much talking to get him to do it. Hell, I had to call up Chris to let him know smoking weed while pregnant is okay. It’s the cigs that are bad for baby. I had to inform him that us Season Kids are all weed babies before he would even take a puff.

He had smoked before, thankfully, so he knew what to do, but he couldn’t handle smoking it like he could cigarettes so I had to give him a shot gun. I was surprised when halfway through the bowl we were smoking, his lips brushed mine in an attempt to be closer to the smoke. The small electric shock I felt brought me back to the good days, when we were attached at the hip when we got to be around each other.

I know the look I saw in his eyes when Chris was giving him his ultrasound… He used to look at me like that ten years ago, before the break up that severed our ties. It felt so good to have someone look at me like that after so long, especially since he was the last one to give that look. Ten years of bad boyfriends, each who made the last look better and better, until I gave up on trying to find someone that made me feel the way I did when I was with Nick. I just don’t see the point anymore.

Okay, enough talk of the past… We’re still trying to figure out how he’s going to tell the guys. All he told them was that he had to get away and that he desperately needing help with something they could not help with. I was halfway across the room and I could hear AJ trying to come through the phone to murder him since it took him two days to call. Two days of ignoring phone calls, text messages, emails, and more calls. Apparently they were just about to call the police when he called them.

When Nick looked like he was about to cry I grabbed the phone from him and gave AJ a word or two on upsetting him when he was going through something major. I’m not sure if it was what I said to him, how I said what I said to him, or the fact that it was me saying what I said to him, but he shut up pretty quick. Hell, I don’t even know if he knows it was me…

Nick and I may not be an item anymore, but I know he needs someone and he picked me for this, so I’m going to stick by him until he doesn’t need me anymore. I just hope that when he does tell the guys they can help him come up with an idea about what to do, rather than flipping out.

I’m curious as to how long he’s going to end up staying with me, because when it’s time for my siblings to come here on the 28th, he needs to be gone… If he isn’t I could just send him to… I can’t send him to stay with any of the people I know. He wouldn’t be safe… And he wouldn’t be safe around my siblings, not after our break up. I may have forgiven him, but they were the ones that put my scattered puzzle of a heart back together after I came back from Tokyo in a million pieces. Nick had flown me out there, on the Black and Blue Tour, and after a couple of days… IT… Happened… I may have forgiven Nick, but I will never forgive his mom, Jane, for all the pain she caused her son to give me.

Damn the woman, she makes me hold grudges… I only hold one grudge and that is against that woman for being selfish. Who knows where we would be if she had never… No. I promised myself I would never think about it again… It hurts too much to remember and I don’t want to get myself upset. I shouldn’t even still be upset since there are no more feelings for him…None.

I do find it oddly amusing though… We met on a tour, then we cut ties on a tour…

-Pepper


	7. Flashback dreams pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick's dreams bring him back to a day that was both good and bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 of a 3 part installment. It was originally one large chapter, but it was so long I cut it down to 3 parts =)

_-2001-_

 _Nick smiled as he held Pepper close in his arms as they lay together in the bed of his hotel room. He was supposed to be rooming with Brian, but he had talked his friend into letting him room with Pepper since he had dragged her out to Tokyo to see him. He kissed the top of her head, and when she looked up at him, he couldn't help but smile more at the smile on her face. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you were willing to come out here," he whispered as he brushed his nose against hers, making her giggle softly._

 _"I missed my boyfriend, why wouldn't I come out?" Pepper questioned as she ran her hand over his naked chest. "Besides, I thought it would be cool to see Japan." She kissed his neck. "It's amazing here."_

 _"I told you, you would like it," he smiled as he moved his hand slowly up and down her bare spine. "I wish you could stay longer than a week though, but I know you won't."_

 _Pepper chuckled as she gave him a small look. "Nick, you know I have to get back to work," she lightly chided. "We already had this talk, mister, and we're not having it right now."_

 _"Yes ma'am," he chuckled and buried his nose in her hair, enjoying her scent. "The guys are glad you came out too, you know..."_

 _"Uh-huh, I'm fully aware," she responded as she shifted so she was laying on top of him, straddling his lower half as her hair draped over his chest. "Kevin and Howie wasted no time in letting me know you were driving them ape shit, well in their words up the wall, with how mopey you were." She smiled when Nick blushed. "Busted, Carter."_

 _Nick wrapped his arms around her as she pressed her mouth to his, her tongue lightly brushing over his lips as their eyes closed. It didn't take long for his lips to part, his tongue darting out to invade her mouth as he took charge of the kiss. His hands made their way to her hips, squeezing gently as she moaned into his mouth, the sound stoking the flame to his desire as she lightly moved herself against him._

 _Pepper gasped when his mouth left hers and found her neck, sucking on the bite marks he had left on her earlier. His name fell from her lips as she shifted against him once more, drawing a ragged moan from his throat. Sitting up on his lap, she lifted her hips momentarily and bit her lip slightly as she locked eyes with him while she slid herself down on his hard shaft, moaning his name when he was buried deep inside of her._

 _Nick's blue eyes darkened with his desire as he watched the sight before him, his cock throbbing in her as she lifted up and came back down, rocking her hips against his. He guided her hips with his hands as her hands rested on his stomach so that she could balance herself better. He licked his lips as he watched her back arch as she rode him, the moans coming from her throat only fueling his fire more._

 _Pepper looked down at her boyfriend as he bucked his hips up against her, making her softly cry out his name. She gently dug her nails into his abdomen when he pulled her down harder, moaning for her as he picked up their pace. She rocked her hips against him in synch with his bucking hips. When her orgasm rolled over her, she cried out his name once more, digging her nails into his flesh._

 _Nick's hands gripped her hips tighter as he continued to move her body up and down on his length, helping her ride out her orgasm as he sought out his own release. As he went over the edge into his own orgasm, he cried out her name and brought her body down, hilting himself inside of her as he filled her with his hot seed._

 _Pepper, not moving from his lap, leaned down and braced herself with her arms on either side of him, her arms trembling and her breath coming in soft, short pants. When Nick moved his hands from her hips and wrapped his arms around her, she rested against him, tangling the fingers of one hand in his hair, the other resting on his arm. She barely registered his lips on the top of her head as he held her to him._

 _"I love you Pepper," he managed to get out as he slowed his breathing, "so much."_

 _"I love you too Nick," she murmured against his chest as she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of his fingers slowly combing through her hair and down her back._

 _When they could both move again, Pepper removed herself from him, biting back a small moan as she laid next to him. A smile graced her lips when he turned onto his side and pulled her close, resting his forehead against hers. She lifted her gaze, from his chest, to his eyes and she couldn't help but let her smile grow at the loving look in the blue depths of his eyes._

 _Nick smiled when he saw the loving look in her blue-green eyes, his heart melting as he thought about what it would be like to see that look every day for the rest of his life._

 __\- - - - -

-Present-

Nick slowly opened his eyes, frowning at the dream that had visited him in his sleep. He didn't know why he was dreaming about that day, he had tried so hard not to think about it since he found out the truth. He knew he had fucked up, but by the time he had found out the truth to the lies he knew it was far too late to call Pepper. He had lost her because of the damned woman he had to call Mother.

He sat up on the bed in the guest room and ran his hand over his stomach when he felt a weird flutter inside, frowning a little in slight disappointment when he felt nothing with his hand. Chris had explained to him it was too young to feel anything on the outside, but plenty of pregnancies at this stage had movement the carrier could feel on the inside. Standing up, Nick made his way to the bathroom adjacent to the guest room and did his business. After, as he washed his hands, he looked up at the black hair that still caught him off guard, and the bags under his blue eyes.

He shook his head and left the bathroom, turning off the light behind him, before he walked out of the bedroom, needing something to drink. He paused when he heard a noise coming from the door he was about to pass; Pepper's room. He stayed still for a moment, listening to see if there were anymore noises, frowning when he heard what sounded like crying. He knocked softly on the door. "Pepper? Are you okay?" He questioned, putting his ear closer to the door to hear her respond.

When he got no response, he knocked again and waited, frowning when he heard the crying once more. He tried the doorknob, finding it unlocked, and gently pushed the door open. Moonlight filtering in from her window provided him with enough dim lighting to see that she was hugging her pillow close, crying in her sleep. The sight tugged at his heart and he found himself conflicted as to whether or not he should go to her. He didn't want her mad at him for coming into her room, but at the same time he didn't want her to be so upset in her sleep.

Biting his lip, he walked in and shut the door, moving to her bed and leaned down, gently shaking her shoulder. "Pepper... Pepper wake up hon," he said, his voice quiet so that he didn't startle her any. "Come on..."

Pepper slowly opened her sleep-hazed eyes and blinked a couple of times, sniffling as her eyes focused on Nick. She frowned in confusion as she wiped away the tears on her cheeks and fought the tears that were still at bay behind her eyes. "Nick?"

"I heard you crying, I wanted to make sure you were okay," he answered the obvious unspoken question.

"I don't even remember the dream," she whispered as she sniffled and wiped away more tears.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?" He questioned, his eyes showing concern for the girl who seemed so fragile and broken in her current state. When Pepper gave a small nod, Nick crawled into her bed and let her curl up against his chest, his arms wrapping protectively around her.

"Thank you, Nick..."

"Hush hon," he whispered and brought one hand up, slowly stroking her long hair. "Just try to get some more rest, I won't leave you." When she lifted her head and looked at him, he gave her a small smile and tried to ignore the look in her eyes. He remembered that look from their old days, the one that was halfway begging him to come closer and close the gap between their lips. "Go to sleep Pepper," he whispered, trying not to show his disappointment her own shown in her eyes. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."


	8. Flashback dreams pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a small glimpse at what happened between Pepper, Nick, and Jane Carter.

_-2001-_

 _Pepper bit her lip as Nick led her to his hotel room later that night, after they had a discussion on her meeting his Mother, Jane, who had used the emergency card he had for her, to fly out to see her son. He just figured she wanted to finally meet the woman he had been dating for two years, and even though he was worried of how they would react to each other, it was important to him, so Pepper would go through with it. When they walked into the hotel room, Pepper felt a surge of something unidentifiable as the woman that stood there gave her a scrutinizing look._

 _She managed a small smile as the woman approached the two lovers and extended her hand to Pepper, who reached out and shook the cold hand. "It's nice to finally meet the girl that my Nickolas is always talking about," Jane said as she shook Pepper's hand and then let go, looking her over._

 _"It's nice to finally meet the woman who brought Nick into the world," Pepper said as she withdrew her hand, fighting the urge to turn and leave. Something about this woman didn't sit right with her and she couldn't shake it even though she was desperately trying for Nick's sake._

 _"So, how did you two meet again?" She questioned, leveling a look at Pepper, who didn't blanch like she should have under the cold stare._

 _"My younger sister, Autumn, she's a-"_

 _"Oh yes, the Season Kids," his mother chuckled, a wry smile on her lips. "What an interest life you kids must have lived so far having to go by seasons instead of normal names."_

 _Pepper, instead of shrinking back like Jane had hoped for, straightened her spine, a strange look flashing in her eyes for a moment before the girl managed a small, pleasant smile. "My siblings and I love our names, as much as we love our parents for the names they gave us," she stated. "As I was saying, Autumn is a huge fan of your son and his friends, and as an early birthday gift Mom and Dad bought her tickets and backstage passes to their show on the Into the Millennium Tour. She wanted me to come with her, we met the guys, and the rest is history."_

 _Nick smiled and slid his arm around her waist. "She had me at hello," he shrugged, grinning when his line made Pepper laugh softly._

 _"You're cheesy Nick, don't do that again," she joked, nudging him with her elbow before she leaned into him._

 _"You like it," he smiled and looked to his Mom, fighting off a frown when she didn't look too pleased. "She came up to the table with her sister at the meet and greet and when she told me she was coming backstage after the show I decided I had to have her."_

 _"You didn't care that she could have been some stalker?" Jane demanded, obviously upset by her son's choice._

 _"Mom, you didn't see her then," Nick responded, his confidence faltering. "She looked so bored and indifferent to be there. There was no way she wanted to be there, how could she be a stalker if she didn't even want to be there?"_

 _"Nick, it could have been an act," Jane chided, "what were you thinking?"_

 _"That the most beautiful, real, girl I had ever laid my eyes on just walked in the room, and I couldn't risk not seeing her again," Nick snapped, catching himself off guard since he almost never stood up to his mother._

 _"Nick, you've been in the show business almost your whole life, baby, you should know better by now."_

 _"Ma'am, with all due respect," Pepper interjected, her eyes showing the same look from earlier, "your son was old enough then, and is still old enough, to be making his decisions. I didn't want to date a celebrity so we stayed friends for half a year before I finally gave in to your son asking me out. I want your son, not his money, so I would appreciate it if you quit running your son down for just wanting to be happy."_

 _Nick swallowed hard, looking to the ground when he saw the fire in his Mother's eyes, the same fire that Pepper was staring down. "Mom, Pepper is a good girl," he said, his voice wavering slightly as his spine melted when her fierce gaze shifted to him. "She means the world to me, and unlike the other girls, she puts up with the touring... No one else ever has. She says what she means, and means everything that she says, so when she tells me something, I believe her."_

 _Jane stared at her son before she turned her eyes back to Pepper, who was looking at Nick with a protective look, her arm going around her boyfriend. "Let's just hope you're not making another mistake. I'm going to go speak with Johnny, he wanted to have a word with me, but I wanted to meet your... girlfriend... first." She locked gazes with Pepper. "It's been a pleasure meeting you." The words were polite, but her tone held nothing but acid._

 _Pepper's spine stayed solid as she stared the woman down. "I wish I could say the same," she replied. She hated to be rude, but she only gave what was given, and this woman was nothing but rude. When Jane was gone, Pepper gently lifted Nick's chin, her anger fading when she saw the sadness in the blue depths. "I'm sorry Nick..."_

 _Nick's chin quivered for a moment before he cleared his throat and shook his head. "No, Pepper, you tried," he said as he turned and wrapped his arms around her. "She's the one that couldn't be nice. I'm so sorry she was that way to you."_

 _Pepper rested her forehead against Nick's, closing her eyes as she tried to calm the bit of anger that still remained from the encounter with Jane Carter. "I don't want you to apologize for her, Nick, you can't control how your mother is, and I don't hold it against you."_

 _Nick's lips lightly pressed to hers, sighing softly into the kiss when she returned it before she laid her head on his shoulder. He smiled to himself as he gently pressed his head to hers. "I don't care what she says, you are the best thing that could ever happen for me."_

 _"I wish you could stand up to her baby, you don't deserve to be treated that way, not by your mother..."_

 _"I know, but she's my mother, I can't fight her..." Nick frowned as he kissed the top of his girlfriend's head, making her look at him. "She's family."_

 _Pepper leaned up and kissed him, letting her lips linger against his for a moment before she pulled away. "I understand, love, I guess I just hate to see you treated that way."_


	9. Flashback dreams pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We go further in depth into the mystery of this break up.

_-2001-_

 _Pepper sighed as she headed back to Nick's room when he sent her there for his phone after he realized he had left it there. She had left the movie they were watching with his friends to go do this, so she was in a hurry to get back. Using her card key, she swung open the door, frowning when she saw Jane Carter drop Nick's wallet, exclaiming in surprise. She eyed Jane with anger as she watched the woman try to stare her down as she had earlier that day._

 _"Come in dear, don't just stand there with the door open," Jane finally spoke, her body rigid as she watched Pepper do just as she was told, "we wouldn't want some fan knowing where the boys' rooms are, now would we?"_

 _"What were you doing with Nick's wallet?" Pepper questioned once the door was shut._

 _"Look, Pepper, I'll be honest with you," Jane said as she sat on the edge of Nick's bed, patting the spot next to her. "Let's talk honey."_

 _Pepper had to repress a grin at where Evil Herself sat, since she knew what had happened right in that spot. She wondered if she should let her know she was probably sitting in something she wouldn't want to, but instead moved to lean against the dresser that was across from the bed. "Pardon the lack of trust, but I know how close you have to be for a snake to bite you," Pepper said, her eyes as cold as Jane's, yet somehow her whole body was on fire at the thought of this woman stealing from Nick._

 _Jane gave a wry smile and made a small noise at the comment, but let it slide as she regarded Pepper. "Do you work dear?"_

 _"I do, but where that is, and what it is, is none of your concern," Pepper answered, "I do believe I asked you a question."_

 _Jane visibly clenched her jaw for a moment before she managed as polite a smile as possible. "Listen, Pepper, if someone doesn't keep Nick's money under control, he would spend it all on stupid things, or people who don't deserve it," Jane explained, the look she gave Pepper made it quite clear that had been at her. "And I don't really need my son going broke."_

 _"The only time your son spends a dime on me is when it benefits him, like bringing his girlfriend out to the city he'll be at so he can see her," Pepper explained, folding her arms over her chest. "He doesn't buy me anything, because I won't let him. I have my own money, that I earn at my job. Also, your son manages his money quite well, without the help of a thieving mother. The boy gives you enough money as it is, why do you need to steal more? Maybe you're the one who needs to have someone watch their money for them."_

 _Jane's eyes burned holes in Pepper as the calm expression she had been wearing faded into the anger that she had been trying to keep at bay. "Trying to keep his money all to yourself, is that it?" Jane demanded. "Well listen here hon, let me let you in on a little secret. I'm not the person you want to have against you, rather than for you. I can make your whole world crumble in an instant dear. You need to realize that."_

 _Pepper gave her a cold smile, her eyes flashing an dangerous look at Jane as she ran her eyes over the woman. "_ Honey, _dear, you don't know my family," she said as she shook her head. "You do anything to hurt me, you do anything to upset me, I guarantee you, you're going to have three siblings willing to hunt you down from one word from me. Not only will you have them, but you'll have anyone we call up, and we know plenty of people who love some fun. I'll put up with a lot of shit, but threatening is not one of them."_

 _She walked over to the nightstand by the bed and grabbed Nick's phone, slipping it in her pocket. She headed to the door and looked back at the woman. "You'll be lucky if I don't tell your son what you're doing, but I hope you're not feeling lucky." She walked out of the hotel room and went back to Brian's room, using the key he had given her to get back in, taking her spot next to Nick as she handed him his phone. She handed Brian the room key and bit her lip as she tried to think of how to tell Nick that his Mother was stealing from him._

 _\- - - - -_

 _Pepper raised a brow as her and Brian drew closer to Nick's room and heard the shouting from inside. "I got it from here, Bri," she said as she knocked on the door, watching him walk away. When the door opened and a very upset Nick answered the door, she frowned. "Nick, what's going on?"_

 _"Get in here and we'll talk about it," Nick said as he opened the door wider, revealing Jane Carter sitting on the luggage bed, a smirk on her face as she caught the sight of Pepper. But when Nick turned to face her, the smirk was gone, replaced by the anger she was showing Nick._

 _Pepper frowned as she stepped in and shut the door. "What's going on Nick, why do you look so upset?" She questioned as she turned to her boyfriend._

 _"My Mother is throwing around some pretty big accusations," Nick explained, his anger still evident as he tried to calm down for Pepper. "I'm missing some money, and she said that she saw you put it in your bag."_

 _Pepper looked at Jane. "Are you fucking kidding me!?" She demanded, her fire raging once more. "I caught you trying to steal and now you're about to blame it on me!? How much money did you take from him?"_

 _Nick cut between them and looked at Pepper. "When did you catch my mom stealing from me?"_

 _Pepper frowned. "When you sent me to get the your phone, I came in here and she had your wallet. She said you needed someone to keep your money under control since you only made stupid decisions with it. I was trying to decide how to tell you or I would have said something sooner."_

 _Nick looked at Jane, a questioning look in his eyes. "Is this true, Mom?" He questioned, "were you stealing from me? And why are you trying to blame it on her? Are you that threatened by her?"_

 _Jane frowned at her son, shaking her head. "How could you believe that little hussy over your Mother, Nickolas? I told you that I walked in on her, and now you're siding with her? I told you she is just trying to use you, and now she's trying to make sure she's the only one that has a chance at your money."_

 _"I don't let him buy me anything!" Pepper exclaimed at the woman, outraged at what she was trying to do. "I never ask for money, because I make my own, why the Hell would I need to steal from him!?"_

 _"Maybe you don't make enough at your job, who knows?" Jane snapped. "All I know is that I walked in here, looking for my son so I can apologize for how I treated you earlier-"_

 _"Oh bullshit!" Pepper exclaimed, cutting her off._

 _"And there you are, putting my son's money in your messenger bag!" Jane finished, glaring daggers at Pepper. She sent a desperate look at Nick, who was watching the scene unfold before him. "Nick, she even offered me half of it to keep my mouth shut! I told her no, and then she threatened me!"_

 _Nick looked at Pepper, who was giving Jane a look to kill. "Is that true, Pepper? Did you threaten my Mom?"_

 _Pepper turned her eyes to Nick, softly the glare, but there still was one because it was obvious to her she was losing the fight for someone who claimed he loved her. "I only threatened her after she threatened me Nick. When have you ever known me to make threats without reason?"_

 _"Keeping yourself in his pocket is good enough reason," Jane spat, making Nick frown._

 _"Nick, for fuck's sake, look in my bag if you don't believe me!" Pepper snapped, pissed at the look in her boyfriend's eyes._

 _"I don't want you to have to prove yourself, Pepper," Nick replied, though his voice wavering was enough to cause a small tightening in Pepper's chest._

 _"She's probably counting on you not checking her bag if she tries to push it on you," Jane cut in, her brow raised. "You should let her show if she's so sure she didn't go about stealing your money."_

 _Pepper glared at the woman and stalked over to her messenger bag, shoving it into Nick's chest as he gave her a guilty look. "There, open it," she snapped as she looked to Jane. "You really have some nerve, Mrs. Carter," she growled._

 _"No," Nick's voice caught her attention, "you do."_


	10. Back to a pained reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final sequence of the flashback dreams explains it all, and when Pepper wakes, how does she feel about Nick being there?

_-2001-_

 _Pepper turned her eyes to Nick, who was frowning deeply as he looked in her bag. She took her bag from him and looked inside, her eyes widened as she saw the hundreds, as well as a credit card of Nick's, resting on everything else. "What...?"_

 _She looked at Jane, who gave her a cold smile before she turned a concerned stare to Nick. "Is something wrong baby?" She questioned, moving over to her son, obviously hoping Pepper wouldn't make a move to hurt her in front of Nick._

 _"Pepper... I don't get it," Nick whispered, his eyes showing his hurt as he looked from his Mother to his girlfriend. "If you needed it, why didn't you just ask?"_

 _Anger and betrayal flashed in Pepper's eyes as she stared at Nick. "Are you serious Nick?" She questioned, trying to keep her voice even. "You honestly think I would steal from you and try to put it on someone else? She must have-"_

 _"What?" Nick cut her off, the look in his eyes going to anger. "Must have put it in your bag when you came back to Brian's room? Is that it? God, can't you think of something more original than that!?"_

 _Pepper's first instinct was to shrink back from the harsh look in those blue eyes she loved, but the strong side of her made her spine straighten as she shook her head at him. "Nick, why the Hell would I use you for your money when I have my own job? When have I ever asked you for money? When has money ever turned up missing around me? Your Mother is using you and you're so blind to it that you're letting her put it on me."_

 _"You're going home." Nick's voice was stern, his eyes hardening as he stared down at her._

 _"What?" Pepper felt the prick of tears in her eyes, but she refused to let the tears come any further, refusing to cry in front of this woman. "Nick, you're not serious."_

 _"Yes I am, and I'm sending you home, and I don't want to hear from you again," Nick said as he took his money and card from her bag. "We're over. I should have fucking known you were too good to be true."_

 _Jane moved to her son and rubbed his back softly as she looked at Pepper. "I told you, Pepper," she spoke slowly, "I told you I would make my son see his mistake."_

 _Pepper looked at the anger in Nick's eyes and shook her head. "I can't believe you Nick..."_

 _"Nick, you should make her pay for her own way home since she probably has more of your money tucked away somewhere," Jane said as she smoothed down her son's hair. "I'm sure the little thief can afford it."_

 _Nick looked at Pepper. "She's right. Get your own way home."_

 _"Nick-"_

 _"Get the fuck out of my room, and my life, Spring!" Nick shouted, his glare sending an odd chill through her. "If I ever see or hear from you again I'll call the cops and have you taken away from me, got it!?"_

 _Pepper closed her eyes tightly as she tried to control herself. The pain was suffocating her, but she wouldn't let him see it, he obviously didn't care. The one who said he loved her, was so easily swayed by his Mother's lies there was no way he could have loved her, it was all a mistake. "Fine," she said through clenched teeth as she opened her eyes, glaring death at Nick and his Mother. "But when you find out what a monster that BITCH is, don't fucking come calling me. I won't be there to hear it."_

 _\- - - - -_

 _-3 Months Later-_

 _Pepper stared up at the ceiling, her tears falling down the side of her face and onto the pillow beneath her head as the doctor worked silently on removing her baby. The stress of everything had made her miscarry a child she hadn't been aware she was carrying due to lack of a missed period and no morning sickness. She had asked Ian to take her to the doctor when she woke up to blood on her bed, nowhere near the time of her usually punctual period, and extreme pain._

 _When they arrived and started doing tests, Ian had been asked to leave the room, even though Pepper has begged for him to be able to stay. The news itself hurt more than the physical pain, because her last tie to Nick was gone, completely removing him from her life. Now, as the doctor was finished up, and Ian had been allowed in to hold her hand, she felt broken and numb._

 _When the doctor cleared his throat, Pepper looked down at him and felt her heart break all over again at the sight of the tiny thing in his hand. He realized she was looking by her pained gasp, and hid it from her sight but the damage had already been done. He had only been clearing his throat, not trying to get her attention, but his apologies fell on deaf ears as the image planted itself in her brain._

 _Ian leaned over her, hugging her close, and Pepper immediately buried her face in his chest, sobbing her pain. She had thought the pain of knowing she had lost the baby was bad, but actually seeing it, barely formed, was a whole different pain all together._

 _"Hush, Pep," Ian whispered as he ran his hand over his sister's hair, hating how weak and fragile the strongest of the siblings was at the moment. "You'll have other chances, with guys who actually deserve you."_

 _Pepper clung tightly to her brother as the doctor cleaned her up._

\- - - - -

Pepper slowly opened her sleep-hazed eyes and blinked a couple of times, sniffling as her eyes focused on Nick. She frowned in confusion as she wiped away the tears on her cheeks and fought the tears that were still at bay behind her eyes. "Nick?"

"I heard you crying, I wanted to make sure you were okay," he answered the obvious unspoken question, his words touching the broken pieces of her heart.

"I don't even remember the dream," she whispered, knowing it was a lie as she sniffled and wiped away more tears.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?" He questioned, his eyes showing concern for the girl who seemed so fragile and broken in her current state. When Pepper gave a small nod, desperately needing the closeness of him, Nick crawled into her bed and let her curl up against his chest, his arms wrapping protectively around her.

"Thank you, Nick..." She whispered, part of her hating herself since she knew it was this man that made her feel so broken inside. But the logical part of her knew he had nothing to do with the baby, because he hadn't known.

"Hush hon," he whispered and brought one hand up, slowly stroking her long hair. "Just try to get some more rest, I won't leave you." When she lifted her head and looked at him, he gave her a small smile and tried to ignore the look in her eyes. He remembered that look from their old days, the one that was halfway begging him to come closer and close the gap between their lips. "Go to sleep Pepper," he whispered, trying not to show his disappointment as her own shown in her eyes. "I promise I'm not going anywhere."

Pepper laid her head against his chest and listened to the heart beating fast inside, wondering why his heart was pounding so hard. Maybe it was from the kiss they almost shared, but she was in no mood to try to figure it out. The fingers that slowly played with her hair as Nick tried to comfort her, was enough to calm her more as she began to fight the urge to return to sleep, fearing the dreams that waited her.

"I'm so sorry Pepper," he whispered as he kissed the top of her head and continued his slow ministrations, "for everything."

"You're forgiven Nick," she whispered as she let him cradle her to him. "No grudges..."

Nick stayed there, slowly rocking the fragile girl until he realized that her breathing had evened out and she had fully relaxed against him. He looked down at her sleeping face and he couldn't help but smile to himself as he lightly brushed his thumb over her cheek. "Sweet dreams, Pepper," he whispered before he kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, softly humming an old song of theirs she had always asked for when they were together.


	11. Twelve more days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another look in the life of Pepper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the dreams explained everything to those of you who are reading the story =). There is more to come today, but right now I have to run a quick errand, and the computer might be in use when I get back, if so, I'll just post more later when it's free again =).

November 16, 2010

We have twelve more days to figure out where Nick is going to go when it's time for my siblings to get here. I explained to Nick that I was extremely upset when I had to use the last bit of my paycheck to get back from Tokyo, and that my siblings were possibly still willing to avenge me, though I hold no grudges. But, I couldn't tell him about the miscarriage. I couldn't bring myself to tell him what the stress of everything had caused, that he had almost been a Father at twenty-one. How do you tell someone that anyway?

By the way Nick, remember when you broke my heart and sent me packing? Apparently I was pregnant, but the stress of losing the one I loved, and claimed he loved me, made me lose the baby. Just thought you should know?

I may have a way with words, but not when it comes to breaking news to people. Summer was the one that had to tell Mom and Dad about the miscarriage, and it took Mom and I both to keep Dad to keep from hunting Nick down... Or sending someone to do it for him... I have to admit I was surprised when the news never broke the Nick Carter either turned up missing or was found dead somewhere. I guess Dad took the threat from my Mom seriously that if he did it, or had someone do it, that she would walk out of his life.

My Dad, my loving old man, is ex-Mafia. Luckily it was my Grandpa that got him in, so it was Gramps that helped get him out with no problems. He quit when he met Mom, because she disapproved of Mafia ways. When I threatened Jane Carter in the hotel that day, I was threatening her for Nick, barely for me. I was going over every number I could think of to have that woman scared shitless, because obviously killing her would upset Nick. Even after what happened I still questioned myself as to why I never called anyone. I guess some part of me still loved him at the time.

I think part of me still does... Sometimes, the way he looks at me just melts my heart all over again, makes me ride some weird jittery high that I have to keep hiding through a calm façade. He was my first real love, and you know what they say about the first one. But that could never happen again. No matter what I think I'm feeling for him.

My Dad wouldn't do anything but grumble under his breath and carry on about how crazy I was for getting back with him, so my worry doesn't lie with him, it lies with Summer and Winter. Ian and Jack would probably kill him on sight. They don't know of Dad's ex-Mafia past, only I know because I heard him and some old friends talking. They don't know that all they would have to do is call those friends of my Dad's. Those guys love their little Spring Pepper.

I guess I'm humored by the fact that we all grew up New Jersey and Dad had the stereotypical Mafia connection; it still makes me laugh from time to time.

My Mom, if I did get back with Nick, would probably tell me that I should tell him about the miscarriage first, see how he reacts to someone losing a child of his. Tell me that if he was one of those guys that freaked out because I lost their child, then he wouldn't be worth it. But if he could get over it, and see how I was, then he might just be worth it.

Autumn would probably try to claw his eyes out, knowing that little fiery girl. She may be my sis, but I have to admit, I don't know where she gets her fire from. From what Dad says she gets it from Mom, who was "quite the little pistol" back when they met. She was never wild, but apparently if you got her mad, just run the other way.

Dad says I took after Gramps, rest his soul, with his easy-going personality, but watch out if you hurt my family. Gramps could turn his attitude on a dime if you messed with someone he was close to. He could make you feel like the lowest piece of shit on Earth. I got to watch him do that with my first boyfriend, and I laughed because the guy had been so sure he was right to cheat on me and try to hide it. By the end of that feud he walked away with tears in his eyes, leaving a huge smirk on Gramps' face. I miss that old man...

I still have contact with Dad's old friends, but that's because they buy my weed, saying they're helping their Spring Pepper. They love using my first and middle names for the nickname it was intended for. I only let family call me that, or them.

God...What am I going to do with Nick while my siblings are here? I still have nowhere I could send him, and he doesn't want to use his credit cards so that no one can track him down; even though the guys know he is with me. The guys still have no idea what's going on, and I have a pretty good feeling that they're not going to keep at bay for long. Nick does have a job to do.

Speaking of jobs, I about died when he drove to my job when he got lonely at the house. Chris said if he had normal hormonal problems that came with a pregnancy, then it would be a good sign for the baby, and it would common for him to get lonely. Obviously it's me, not my home, that makes him feel safe and pregnant people apparently prefer to feel safe in their situation. Granted, he remembered his contacts, for the love of the Gods, what if that had been the night I actually got robbed? What if something had happened?

I gave him a small lecture on needing to be more careful with his "situation" as I called it since almost every place in that store in on camera. He looked like he was about to cry at one point, but I calmed him down, luckily. He stayed with me until my boss got there. Jason started to say something but I cut him off, questioning why he said nothing to Shelly who had guys all night, even behind the counter, but he'll say something to me about my friend visiting. It shut him up, because he knows I never do anything wrong. Hell, I only ask for days off when my siblings are in town.

When we got home, Nick wouldn't leave my side, but he stopped when it came to me going into the bathroom to take my morning shower. When I got out and went to my room, I melted when I saw what he had done for me while I was in the shower.

He's almost acting like the Nick I used to date, the Nick that won me over after fighting for me for six months. If he is the same, how much longer can I resist him this time?

-Pepper


	12. Gas station conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper gets a little surprise when Nick shows up at her work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay I got back and the comp is still free, so that means more chaps for you =) I have a few more that have been prepared for posting, so I'll go ahead and post those and that'll be it for today =)

Pepper sighed to herself as she made some fresh coffee, that would probably still be full when morning shift came in. She didn't know why she bothered, besides the fact that she was supposed to, to make fresh coffee when she never sold any at night. She yawned softly and contemplated making her own coffee, but she knew better than to drink the coffee here, it always upset her stomach. Energy drinks it was.

When she finished with the coffee, she walked around the small store and made sure everything was pulled forward, turned so the labels were facing out to the customers eye, and thought of just throwing it all to the floor. She had to wonder what Jason would do if he came in and saw all his products on the floor, getting stepped on by all the non-existent customers she was supposed to be ringing up. She smiled at the image in her mind of the look on his face.

When the bell above the door rang, letting her know someone came in, she hollered out the customary greeting and looked over, stopping when she saw Nick standing there, looking uneasy. "Ni-um, Andrew, what are you doing here?" She questioned as she went over to him. "Is everything okay?"

Nick ducked his head a little and managed a small smile, though his eyes were red and slightly puffy. "I got lonely," he muttered in response. "I couldn't call the guys, and you said if I needed anything... I needed you..."

Pepper's heart did a double-time at his words until she calmed it down and shook her head. "Andrew, hon, you have to extra careful right now, and coming to see me here isn't all that careful."

"But," he pouted, "you work here."

"Andrew, I can take the risk, you can't," I said as I eyed his stomach with a very pointed look before looking back to his face. "You have to go home, where it's safe."

Nick bit his quivering bottom lip and nodded his head, looking like a child who had been scolded by their mother. "I'm sorry Pepper," he muttered as he turned to leave.

"Andrew, wait," she said, her voice halting him in his spot. "You can stay, but you can't come behind the counter, okay?" When he looked at her, hope shining in his ocean blue eyes, Pepper had to fight the urge to hug him close and kiss away his tears. "Look, I think Shelly has a stool she lets her friends sit on, let me get that for you and you can sit at the end of the counter. Will that be okay for you?"

Nick gave an eager nod and hugged her tightly, crushing her to his chest. "Thank you Pepper!" He exclaimed as he kissed the top of her head, sniffling softly. "I didn't want to be alone."

Pepper slowly pulled back and gave him a patient smile. "Ni-now Andrew, you just have to remember this isn't a safe place, okay?" She moved away from him and bit her lip in concentration. "I think it's in back, so just give me a minute..."

Nick watched Pepper leave as he glanced around the small gas station store, wondering why she would work here if she thought it was so dangerous herself. When she cleared her throat behind him, he turned and smiled at her as she set the stool down. "You won't get in trouble for me visiting, will you?" He questioned as he watched her brush some hair behind her ear.

Pepper shook her head. "I better not," she answered, "especially if Shelly, the one girl who works here, lets her friends come and go as they please. She even lets them sit behind the counter, but Jason never says a damn thing to her. Let him say something about you when you're not even behind the counter."

"I don't want you losing your job over me, Pepper," he said, managing a firm tone so she would know he wouldn't stand it. "I would feel horrible."

"I have two others I make plenty of money from, Andrew, I don't need this place," Pepper said as she went back to the monotonous fronting and facing she was paid to do.

"Then why do you work here?" He questioned, his curiosity at full peak. "And I know about one, but what other one do you have?"

"I'll answer the job one first, the why takes a little more explaining to do..." Pepper bit her lip and moved on to the next aisle, with Nick in tow. "You saw my little garden, right?" When Nick nodded, she gave a small nod. "That's my other job. I grow fruits and vegetables, and then when they're ready for harvesting, I sell them. I have a stand I set up near the end of my driveway, put out my sign, and watch the customers roll in."

"Won't they die in the cold?"

"Not if you take proper care, and you and I both know I have a green thumb," she smiled with a wink at him that made him chuckle.

"How much longer until you're next go?"

"If I can keep them from dying in the cold out there, then a month or two. If any get close to dying I'll bring them inside and into the basement," she shrugged.

"Basement?" He questioned.

"Yeah, the... I haven't shown you the basement?" She sighed when Nick shook his head. "I'm sorry, I thought I had. I have a little green house thing set up in the basement, for when it gets too cold. I was thinking of bringing some of the stuff down there in the morning, maybe you could help me?" She suggested with a smile.

Nick smiled at the thought of getting to help her out with something, anything, since she barely let him do a thing at the house, helping wise. He had free roam to eat and drink what he wanted, but if he wanted to clean up after himself, he had to do it before she saw it needed to be done, or he wasn't allowed to. "I'd like that, as long as you just tell me what to do so I can help you."

Pepper switched to the next aisle, nodding her head. "I'll walk you through it, it's very easy actually." She looked up when the bell went off again and she gave a hello to one of the regulars as he headed straight for the cooler. "Excuse me, Andrew," she said as she walked away and headed to the counter, walking behind it.

Nick followed suit and sat on the stool, perched like a bird in a cage as he watched her ring up her customer and bid him goodnight, even though all she got back in return was a grumble of a response. "So, why do you work here?" He asked as he turned on the stool to face her. "You never did answer me."

Pepper bit her lip and looked at the counter. "Look, Andrew, I would rather talk about that when I go outside to clean the pumps. It's not something I like talking about on camera, okay?"

Nick bit his lip as his curiosity dam over-flowed, but he kept the questions from spilling from his mouth. Instead he gave a small nod and watched as a couple of customers came in and went to the counter, not even going anywhere else in the store. As he waited, as patiently as a pregnant person could, he watched her handle those customers and any others that came in through the night. In between customers he watched her do her tasks, wondering why she had somewhat gone silent

There were words here and there, but she looked like she had something on her mind, and she had yet to take him outside. When she showed up next to him with a broom and a small dust pan, he followed her outside and watched her for a minute before he cleared his throat. "Are you um, ready to talk yet?"

Pepper sighed softly as she leaned against the building and looked at Nick. "All I'm going to say before I tell you everything Nick, is that there are bits I'm not telling you. There is a reason I'm not telling you, but maybe one day I can explain it all." She ran her fingers through her hair as she cleared her throat. "When I got back from Tokyo, I went into a pretty deep depression. I couldn't function at work so they let me go, claimed I no longer did my job right, but you know me, I need to be doing something."

"Why didn't you just take a break until you healed?" Nick questioned softly, almost a whisper since he knew her depression was caused by his stupid mistake.

Pepper shook her head and looked at the rock her foot had brushed against. "If you were trying to cope with something that affected you greatly, could you be alone with your demons? Or would you want to do something to get your mind off of it?"

Nick mulled it over in his head for a moment before he nodded to agree with what she was saying. "I wouldn't want to have time to think about it," he finally answered.

"That's what I did... I got a job at a gas station near home, I'm only here because I got a transfer, but I started at one just as dangerous. I knew the danger, and it was actually what I wanted... Keep in mind Nick, I don't think the same way anymore, and I don't blame you for how I felt, but at the time, I wanted something to happen. Almost every night I worked I waited and hoped for some crazy son of a bitch to walk through those doors with a trigger-happy hand holding a gun."

"Wait, you wanted to die?" Nick questioned, shock written all over his face.

Pepper nodded and looked at the ground, tears stinging her eyes. "I was in so much pain that I wanted it to end, Nick... But I just couldn't hurt my family by killing myself. Then, the depression got worse, and when it did, I worked myself harder... You couldn't keep me away if they called me in, I was out the door the minute my phone rang."

"Then why are you still here if you no longer need it?" He asked.

"Well, when I left home, I got my transfer and came out here, then got my own home, and I still wanted death when I came here... Now I stay here because it's nice to see people every night, even if I don't know them."

"So, you don't want to die anymore?"

Pepper gave him a slow, warm smile. "No, I want to live now," she answered as a car pulled up. "I couldn't think of dying."


	13. A hot shower and a phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All it takes is a hot shower to get the thoughts flowing...

Pepper groaned as she kicked off her shoes in the spot by her front door, moving so Nick could walk in behind her. She looked at him when he looked at her with a cocked head. "What? Why the funny look?" She questioned.

"What aren't you telling me?"

Pepper gave a mixture of a groan and a sigh as she let her hair down from her ponytail and ran her fingers through the tresses, her fingertips giving her scalp a small massage. "Nick, as much as I want to tell you, I just can't," she answered as she moved past him, only to have him tag closely behind her. "Please don't drag it out of me?"

"But whatever it is made you want to die, Pepper," he frowned as he followed her up the stairs to her bedroom, walking in with her. "Don't you think you should talk to someone about it?"

Pepper mentally flinched at the pang of residual pain in her chest as a small flash of memories flashed behind her eyes, reminding her of what she tried to push from her mind. She gathered herself before she looked at the curious blue eyes that were staring at her. "I have talked with someone Nick," she replied, "at great length."

Nick frowned as she headed into the bathroom and shut the door, hating that she was so upset. He wanted to help her, to fix things, make them right, just to see her smile again. He hadn't noticed it until last night at the gas station, but her smile no longer reached her eyes like it used to. When they met, when they were friends, and when they were dating, her eyes would light up when she smiled for him. Now, she gave the same smile AJ would sometimes give when he past was creeping up on him emotionally, his mouth would smile, but his eyes were dull inside.

In the bathroom, as she stripped out of her work clothes, Pepper turned on the hot water and waited for it to heat up to her preferred temperature. As she waited she glanced in the mirror at the ink that was on the skin along her collarbones that read, _"Forever your angel in disguise."_ She had gotten it after Nick gave her the nickname, stemming from the patience and care she showed everyone, but never got it covered. Although it was from his lips, those who knew her agreed with what he had said.

When the water was where she wanted it, she climbed in, sighing as the hot water cascaded down her hair and body, almost instantly relieving the tight, tense muscles throughout her body. As she relaxed more under the shower spray, she gave a small shiver as her cold body warmed up. She stood there for a few minutes, warming up under the water, her mind going over their conversation at her job and she couldn't help but wonder if she had said too much in telling him anything at all about her past after he was no longer a part of her life. She half wished she could take back what all she had said, wanting to keep her life private, but at the same time, she wanted to not hide things from him, since they had always been so open together.

Even as she started her actual shower she kept thinking about his visit to her gas station. At first she thought the jumping of her heart in her chest was because he was in her gas station when he needed to be somewhere safe. But, the more she thought about it, the more she began to realize she had been wrong. It was because he had even shown up at all that her heart had jumped to her throat. She shook her head as she washed herself, knowing she could not let herself fall for him again.

She knew that no one could control who they did and didn't fall in love with, but she also knew you could choose to pretend it wasn't happening. She would just have to pretend, to try and fool herself into believing her heart wasn't actually betraying her. Them becoming an item once more would not be a good thing, she knew this, so why couldn't her heart catch on?

Downstairs, Nick was sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels as he listened to the faint sound of the shower running upstairs. He had the TV on low just in case she were to call for him, even though he didn't know why he thought she would. If she needed something, she could handle herself. He sighed, a small pout forming on his lips as he subconsciously moved his hand to rest it on his stomach, lightly brushing his thumb back and forth. He didn't realize what he was doing until his cell phone vibrated on the coffee table and he had to move his hand to go for it. He slid open his phone and pressed the button to view the text that had come through on his phone.

 _'So, when are you going to let us know you're okay?'_

Nick worried his lower lip between his teeth as he looked at Brian's text message. He put his thumbs on the keypad, but he wasn't sure what to say. He could tell them time and time again that he was okay, but he knew they would only say they believed it so many times before they wanted more proof.

With gamer speed his thumbs moved over the keypad and quickly typed out his response of, _'I am okay, I just needed to get away Bri,'_ before he hit send and slid his phone shut, running his fingers through his hair. When his phone went off again, moments later, he looked at the text and frowned.

 _'I REALLY wish you would give us more than that bro.'_

His thumbs went to work once more, typing out his response, _'What do you want? A phone call?'_ and hit send. He barely had time to slide the phone shut before Brian's number flashed across the screen. He bit his lip and hesitated before answering. "Hey..."

"What I want to know is where the Hell are you? Why did you just disappear? And who in the Hell was on your phone when AJ got told off?" Brian's voice came on the line, talking a mile a minute and Nick couldn't help but smile a little at how protective the last bit sounded.

"It was Spring, Brian," Nick answered the last first, knowing that was the main concern when it all boiled down. "She saw I was getting upset by AJ and she cut in, I couldn't stop her from grabbing the phone." The silence that followed his words made Nick wonder if the call had dropped. He checked the phone real quick and saw that they were still connected. "Brian?"

"You're with... Spring?" Brian questioned, his voice uncertain and Nick could imagine the confused, shell-shocked look on Brian's face.

"Yeah... I don't know why I came to her, she was the first one I thought of," Nick answered, looking at the dirt under the stubby nails on his free hand. "I don't mean for you guys to get so scared-"

"Nick, you're still famous, we thought you were kidnapped!" Brian snapped without thinking. "Sorry, I'm sorry... I just, fuck bro, you've had us worried this whole time. I mean, we're sitting in the dark, waiting for some kind of light to be shed on the situation that you're hiding from us. You're our little brother Nick, you can't do this to us."

Nick's eyes had shot wide open when Brian had uttered a curse word, giving Nick a pretty good idea of just how scared Brian had been. "I'm sorry, Brian, I panicked... I wish I could tell you guys what's going on, but I honestly don't know how to."

"So, you think you're safe with her after what happened?" He questioned, his tone curious, not condescending like Nick had half expected it to be.

"Yeah, she's been trying to help me through this problem," Nick answered. "She actually forgave me, without me asking for it... I tried apologizing, but she said I was forgiven long ago. Trust me, it caught me off guard too, but it was a big relief."

"I wish I knew why you can't come to us Nick, it kind of hurts to be honest, but if she's what you need right now, and it's safe, then I would rather you be there with her, getting help, then stuck here floundering on your own. Please, for the love of God, can you check in with us from time to time? It would make all of us feel better." On his end of the line Brian sighed softly. "We all miss you, Nick, no matter how mad AJ is right now."

"I wish he could understand," Nick half-whispered.

"We would all be able to understand better if we had some light shed on the situation. I understand that you'll tell us on your own time, but don't forget, you need to come back sometime... Your Mother has been calling us since AJ slipped to Aaron that you're off God knows where, and you've been ignoring her calls."

"Shit."

"Nickolas..."

"Sorry Bri," he replied as he ducked his head even though the older male couldn't see it. "I'll... call her I guess. Let her know the money machine is still alive and well... I'm going to need some tea for this one." When Brian broke out in laughter Nick cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"She's got you back on her tea huh?" Brian questioned through his laughter. "Why does that not surprise me? If I had a dollar for every time you mentioned tea not tasting right after she was gone, I'd be richer than Bill Gates."

Nick grumbled. "I'm going to hang up with you so I can call the b-um, my Mother."

"Good-bye Nick, please promise me you'll call us more often?"

Nick smiled a little. "I promise Brian, love ya man."

"Love you too, kid."

Nick hung up the phone and looked at the call ended message that flashed across his screen before it went back to his wallpaper. He swallowed the small lump in his throat, trying to keep his emotions under control while he wondered if it was the hormones making him want to cry, or the concern his friend was showing. He was so caught up in his emotions and thoughts that he hadn't noticed the shower was no longer running.

In her room, Pepper came out of the bathroom, wearing only a towel since she had been in such a hurry to get away from the questions Nick had been throwing at her that she had forgotten to grab some clothes to bring in with her. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the pajamas laying at the bottom of her bed, with a piece of paper on top. Stepping over to the bed, she picked up the paper and read the small note.

 _Pepper,_

 _I saw you forgot your clothes so I just  
grabbed a set for you. Hope these are fine.  
I don't think I'll be in bed when you get  
out if you wanted to hang out for a little. If  
I am, or you just wanted to sleep, then  
sweet dreams and I'll see you when we're  
up. Thanks for opening up to me._

 _-Nick_

Pepper re-read the small note over and over as her heart hammered in her chest despite her willing it to slow at the simple gesture. "Damn you Carter," she whispered as she dried off and changed into the pajamas, hating how he was making her feel.


	14. It begins...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had to happen sooner or later...

Quietly, trying not to wake Pepper, Nick crept down the stairs of the house towards the kitchen. He knew what he was after, it was what he had woken up just dying to have, now he just had to find it. If she even had any. If not he was fully prepared to search out the nearest grocery store. His search started in the cabinets, where the cans could be if they were still in cans. He looked at every label, hope lacing each turning of a can, only to lead to disappointment.

It didn't take long for a pout to pulled the corners of his mouth down and his bottom lip to push out slightly. Every cabinet was checked, yes, even the pots and pans, he didn't care where he had to look he wad determined to find what he needed. Every unsuccessful cabinet search drew out a grumble or a pouting sigh that made Pepper, who had been standing in the doorway watching, grin. She had been in the living room when he snuck down, but she had been reading in the chair that rested against the stairs. You can only see that chair from the stairs if you leaned over the rail and looked down, so it didn't surprise her that he hadn't known she was there.

She didn't know how much longer she should go on letting him search like he was, but then again she was enjoying the view of him in just a pair of boxers. She was enjoying the chance to take in the tan skin she had once kissed and touched, and the black ink that hadn't been there when they were together; save for his shark on his upper arm. The definition in certain areas made it hard to tear her eyes away from him.

Nick grumbled again and turned to the refrigerator, ignoring the freezer, and started looking on every shelf and in every drawer. He was still completely oblivious of his audience as he searched high and low in the refrigerator. Anything that could be opened would be opened until he found what he so desperately wanted.

Pepper shook her head and finally cleared her throat, making him pause and look up at her, blushing under the amused smile she gave him.

"How... How long have you been there?" He questioned as he straightened up from having been bent over to check the bottom drawers.

"I was sitting in the recliner when you came down the stairs," she answered, smiling when he blushed at the information. "What on Earth are you looking for, Nick?" She questioned as she moved over to him and he shut the refrigerator door.

"No laughing?" He questioned, his eyes wary, even though he knew it was Pepper.

"Tell me Nick," she smiled as she put her hand on his arm, resisting the urge to study him up close.

"Pears," he muttered, "I want some pears. Oh, and something hot, spicy hot."

Pepper smiled and gently steered him from the kitchen and towards the stairs. "Go get dressed and we'll go get you some food, Nick," she said. As hard as it was to not stare at him in the kitchen, as he turned away from her and headed up the stairs, she found it harder now. The curve of his spine called to her, leading down to the ass that was still nice to look at, which she did until it turned out of her view.

She shook her head and went up the stairs herself, needing to pull on some clothes herself, but she had gotten side-tracked by the ass shaking its way up the stairs. She walked into her room and pulled on a pair of loose jeans and an old T-shirt before she searched out her shoes, pulling on the old sneakers. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and grabbed her wallet, sticking it in her back pants pocket as she left the room, almost running into Nick. She smiled at him and took a quick glance at his eyes. "You're forgetting the contacts," she pointed out.

"But if I wear them I'll have to wear my glasses," he pouted.

"Nick, we can't take risk hon," she took his hand in hers, desperately ignoring the warmth that spread through her at the contact, and led him to the guest room. "You know that..."

"I know, I just hate wearing my glasses," he sighed as he walked into the room with her, unwillingly letting go of her hand, and went to the dresser to grab the little lens tray. He went to the attached bathroom and took out his prescription contacts before he put in the brown contacts, blinking a couple of times before he came out and grabbed his glasses off the dresser. With the same pout as earlier, he put the glasses on and followed her out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and out of the house.

\- - - - -

Nick bit his lip as he walked with Pepper through the grocery store, his eyes moving over all the faces they passed, searching for any spark of recognition in someone's eyes and hoping he never saw it. He was pushing the cart, while Pepper walked next to him, her eyes paying more attention to what was on the shelf than what was in people's eyes.

"So, see anything you want?" She questioned, glancing at him.

Nick shook his head. "No, nothing yet," he answered, keeping his voice down. "I knew what I wanted, but my craving for it went away... Now I'm craving something but I don't know what it is." He shifted his glasses up his nose since they had slid down some, and stopped to look at some canned fruits.

Pepper bit her lip slightly, trying miserably to fight off the smile at how cute him shifting his glasses had been. "Well, do you know if you want something spicy, sweet, salty, some fruits, vegetables?" She questioned, trying to trigger some kind of particular craving to help him figure out what he wanted.

Again he shook his head and looked at her. "It all sounds good."

"Excuse me?"

Nick froze, his heart rate increasing as he turned around to look at the girl, who had to be at least nineteen, standing behind him. "Yes?" He was surprised his voice had come out without trembles, but he calmed a little when Pepper put her hand on the small of his back.

The girl stared hard at him, chewing her lip as she looked disappointed. "I'm sorry, you just look like someone else," she said as she tilted her head slightly, still looking closely at him.

The intense studying was making Nick nervous and it was hard as Hell for him to not fidget at this moment. "Let me guess, Aaron Carter, but taller?" He questioned, running with the brown eyes.

"Actually, I was going to say Nick, his brother, but you have brown eyes..." She replied, the slight hope in her eyes fading slightly. "I didn't mean to bug you, I'm sorry."

Nick shook his head and gave her a small smile, worried that the smile he would have used for this fan might give him away. "It's okay sweetie, I get it all the time. Either Nick, or Aaron, people come up to me. I got swarmed one time until the girls realized I wasn't Nick; made me think I'd hate to be him in times like that."

Pepper chuckled softly. "Yeah, Andrew called me scared that night when he got home," she said as she put her hand on his shoulder.

"I've had people ask me to take pictures with them, and I would if I didn't have the same beliefs as the Maasai; that a camera steals your soul when it takes your picture." He gave a small shudder. "It creeps me out."

The girl pouted and gave a small nod and another soft apology before she left them alone, missing the sigh of the relief Nick gave. "Wow, that worked out good," Pepper said as they continued walking through the aisles. "Good cover."

Nick gave a nervous laugh as he ran his fingers over the short stubble on his head. "It came out of nowhere and I ran with it. Thank God it worked..." He shook his head. "I got so nervous when she kept staring and staring..."

Pepper smiled and lightly patted his shoulder as she continued walking down the grocery store aisle with him. "Now that we know your disguise works, even fools fans, we can continue shopping to find out what Baby Carter wants."

"I'm never making fun of a pregnant woman again..."


End file.
